I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
