And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize