I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
