so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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