As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.