she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night