Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far