I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
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I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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