try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
this beer tastes like vomit already
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
