I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
