don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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