I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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