Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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