She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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