I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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