Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
