i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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