Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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