josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
