They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize