just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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