I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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