do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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