I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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