When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
