My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
