I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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