it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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