belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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