She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Randomize
