Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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