That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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