You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
