Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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