If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
