Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
