Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
