Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
