I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
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Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
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Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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