Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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