what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
