Need sex. Gaining weight.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
