i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize