Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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