he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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