Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
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