What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
