they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
