We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
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I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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