Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize