the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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