before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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