help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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