There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you win again, gameday.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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