That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
