There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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