the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I am naked and annoyed.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
