I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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