Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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