I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
