This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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